Transform Your Emotional Pain into Spiritual Gain
Volatile emotions can fuel my “superpower” of passion. But it can also infuse the kryptonite that could easily take me down. It is indeed ironic that both can occur simultaneously in some situations. Properly directed, God-given passions can motivate and move others. But out of control emotions easily derail and take us down and out faster than a speeding bullet. Fortunately, there is hope for me – and for you, too, if you struggle in this area. We can set our intention to balance the scales. The key to achieving this equilibrium involves channeling what we feel. Join me in this endeavor. Transform Your Emotional Pain into Spiritual Gain.
The Source of Pain
Whether we choose to acknowledge it or not, we walk around with some degree of emotional pain. This pain stems from both long term wounds and shorter term blows endured in our lives from childhood into adulthood. Often, we remain unaware of these emotional wounds until a trigger presents itself. Yet consciously knowing and understanding these wounds and triggers sometimes remains elusive. Even so, these wounds continually inform our experiences, decisions and reactions, regardless of our awareness level.
Last week I experienced a gut wrenching blow when someone I invested in suddenly pulled the rug out from under me and others in my family. Details are not important, as I am further protecting people I love and even the “perpetrator” to some degree. In this case, I now believe the short term event punctuated the memory of prior events in my life, threatening to implode me. Because I’m a deep feeler – to a fault, perhaps – I felt myself falling into a tailspin. If it weren’t for my own petitions and the prayers of friends, I might still be tail spinning down the drain. Fortunately, God is faithful to those who lean into Him and trust His plans even when we can’t see their immediate outcome.
Naturally, any conversation about derailing emotions is incomplete without mentioning Satan’s involvement. He’s pictured in popular caricatures with a pitchfork for good reason. His barbs wound! He was powerful enough to “bruise the heel” of Jesus Christ (Genesis 3:15) and we are not likely to escape the afflictions he targets toward us either. He knows precisely where to find an open passageway and how to manipulate situations and others around us to set the stage for our downfall. Before we know it, we lay outstretched on the “battlefield” in need of first aid that only our Messiah can deliver.
Fortunately, The Great Physician can handle and heal our emotional pain. He wants us to lay all our wounds and hurtful situations at His feet. Jesus invites everyone with heavy burdens in Matthew 11: 28 to come to Him and He will give them rest. What a blessing it is to know our pain is welcome at the feet of the son of the Most High God. Who better to entrust it to? Especially when friends and loved ones tire of hearing about it. That’s never true of Jesus.
The Higher Purpose of Pain
Pain serves as an excellent teacher if we are paying attention. When we fall and scrape our knees as children, ideally we learn to take greater care to prevent such accidents from reoccurring. The same is true for situations in our emotional lives. So I’m learning to guard my heart in relationships. I won’t employ trust until it’s more appropriate. I’ve observed that I’m far too willing to extend love and trust without boundaries before it’s appropriate.
The pain of my last experience facilitates a learning process. As I mentioned earlier, I became invested too rapidly in someone I thought might end up being a future family member. I pinned too many hopes and dreams on that potential future for my son and our family. When that dream dissipated for my son, I was almost more undone than he was. To a fault, I love hard in all my close relationships. So moving forward, I will now take steps to mitigate that kind of premature investment moving forward. I intend to “guard my heart” as we are told to do in Proverbs 4:23.
Without a doubt the greatest advantage to enduring emotional pain is that is draws us closer to God. One of my favorite verses in the Bible is Psalm 34:18. “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” If we are honest, we don’t always feel our need for God when things are going well in our lives.
Oh, we might express gratitude and possibly even testify of His greatness. But that deep intimacy? That comes in moments of crisis, despair and even doubt. I love these lyrics that Chris Tomlin wrote. He confesses “Lord I need You, oh I need You, Every hour I need you, My one defense…” That defense convicts me because sometimes God is my last resort and not my first. I’m setting an intention to be completely mindful of how much I need him, pain or no pain!
The Only Legit Solace For Pain
We are so blessed by Jesus that He is an empathetic High Priest who understands all kinds of pain first hand. In Hebrews 4:15, we see a Jesus who experienced every temptation and endured countless sorrows during His time on Earth. I like to remind myself of this when I’m feeling defeated. We are reminded there that “we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are – yet he did not sin.”
Isaiah reminds us in chapter 53 0f his book that Jesus was “stricken, smitten, afflicted, led like a lamb to the slaughter as he poured out his life at his death and bore the shame of being numbered with the transgressors at His crucifixion.” When it comes to emotion, Jesus endured them all. He stands ready to take our burdens, too.
The True Gain of Pain
The added benefit of experiencing pain isn’t always readily apparent from the get go. Sure, we can testify to endurance and that’s great. And certainly it can service as a warning that something underlying may need to be addressed. But the real gain pain imparts is the gift you can give to others once you’ve come out on the other side. It’s another way we become more like Jesus.
You’ve probably heard the expression that “God never wastes a hurt.” This is certainly true in my life. Here’s a short list of hurts in my life: First, there are my low self esteem issues as a teenager. And later, I grappled with acute disappointment as a special needs parent. I faced rejection from churches unable to care for our autistic child. That’s just the tip of the iceberg of a few painful experiences I’ve endured.
The fallout from them enabled me to come along side others to love, support and encourage them. Their emotions mirror what I once felt even though their circumstances differ, so I can empathize and encourage since I’ve come out on the other side. Of course, Satan sometimes likes to mask this application of “pain for gain” by deceiving us into thinking that our pain will return or worsen if we enter into someone else’s. But the opposite is actually true. When we exercise vulnerability and share our experiences and our emotional pain, others are comforted and often encouraged to do the same. This encompasses what Paul talks about in Galatians 6:2. “Carry each other’s burdens and fulfill the law of Christ.” Just as Jesus invites us to lay our burdens down, so can we come alongside brothers and sisters in Christ and do the same.
This might sound like a tall order. And it certainly is a challenge for many though it may even be a calling for others. And our own healing must at least have begun if are to help others. Even so, I’m setting my intention to both guard my heart and expand my sphere of empathy to minister to those who approach me with what impedes their emotional bandwidth. It will require practice and discipline. But it will be worth the effort to ease the pain of those God loves and to, ultimately, “fulfill the law of Christ.” What better way to transform your emotional pain into spiritual gain, not only for others but for ourselves as well.
